Waiting Room

I'm tired of waiting. Waiting for something that won't even be nearly as magical or romantic as I want it to be in my head. Waiting for someone that I'll just end up meeting through friends or at some job I hate. Waiting for someone that I'll eventually convince myself isn't good enough for me or someone who figures out that I'm no good for her. I won't fall in love at first sight and say "I've been waiting my whole life for you. Where have you been? Why have you kept me waiting?" I'll say "Where the hell were you when I needed you most?" I'm not a patient person. I feel like Odysseus making his way to a Penelope he's never met, a Penelope he's not even sure exists anymore, loves him anymore, maybe she's met another suitor. Is there really someone out there waiting for me, wanting me as much I want her?

I'm so afraid of love. I don't want to be disappointed by it.